Assos may be good kit but the look stops me buying

I saw Simon Lamb of La Gazzetta Della Bici mention Assos this afternoon and that they’re doing a “heritage” range next year.

I remembered that I’d seen Fignon wearing Assos in his Renault days, so it was no surprise one of their heritage options is the classic Renault-Elf jersey when I found some pics on Life Time Gear

Assos Heritage 2011 Renault

It’s not really “heritage” is it? It’s more a re-issue like the ones Prendas do.

And a flat lit model isn’t really selling it to me. That braced position, that ridiculous “simpleton looking into the sky” pose. It hardly says “this will make your riding a fun, exciting, enjoyable experience that you value.”

This is where Assos always lose me. Their promotional material is so achingly awful that the notion of buying their kit is about as appealing as wearing one of those blinding primary colour bumbags by NafNaf beloved of continental schoolkids visiting London.

The same can be said for large swathes of the actual product. I once saw the Assos look witheringly described as “gay Buck Rogers”.

Regardless of superfluous slurs about sexuality in relation to Buck Rogers, it’s a pretty unappealing thought.

Armwarmers, legwarmers, plain black FI Uno S5 shorts: Yes. Almost everything else: a screaming No.

Maybe I don’t get Swiss humour, but the Assos Mumu cow-print jersey is one of the most misguided cycling jerseys outside of anything by Primal Wear

Surely there must be some more wearable options in their archives than the Mercier Coop jersey?

Assos Heritage 2011 Mercier Coop

And to think, just last week I was contemplating buying some Assos shorts.

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Lovely Hercules commuter bicycle

Classic Hercules commuter bicycle

Spotted while on holiday in Greece. Difficult to figure out how old it actually is, but it was in great condition. I would love something like that for pottering about town.

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How do you help your mum buy a bike?

My mum wants to get a bike and she wants me to help her find one. Now that’s a lot more challenging than most requests I get for help with finding a bike.

Seriously struggling to come up with a range of ideas at a suitable price. Seems if you’re small, female and looking for something simple and fun, then the market is pretty thin. Would love any help you readers can offer. Please comment and stick in links to anthing you

The first thing I’ve done is to break down the request to help narrow the options.

  • Type of rider: Female, nearing retirement, about 1.50m (5ft) tall
  • Reasons for cycling: Exercise, contemplating a cycling holiday next year
  • Type of riding planned: Pottering about, nipping to the shops, exercise
  • Expected riding surfaces: Canal towpaths, bridleways, road and path. Possibly some light woodland trails. Some areas can be hilly
  • Weather conditions: All-year British

So taking that information, I’m trying to break it down into must-have and would-be-nice features.

Must have

On the shortlist so far

Charge Lazy Susanfrom Evans Cycles

Thumbnail image for charge lazy susan 2010 women's hybrid bike

Raleigh Ladies Pioneer Elite 1from Raleigh Bikes

Raleigh Ladies Pioneer Elite 1 bicycle

Raleigh Oaklandfrom Evans Cycles

raleigh oakland 2009 women's hybrid bike

Dawes Street Elite 2010 Women’s Hybrid Bikefrom Evans Cycles

dawes street elite 2010 womens hybrid bike

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